Sunday 10 March 2024

Flash Fic Challenge: The Stage is Set (With a Cruet)

 The Stage is Set (With a Cruet)

Some bright spark had decided to put on a comic book themed retelling of Romeo and Juliet, complete with twirling capes and jokes so bad they were a crime against language.

Stage hand Mark winced as the actors bounced all over the outdoor stage, claiming that possession of the electronic cruet set that was passing rapidly between characters warranted arresting them (because it was a case of a salt and battery, groan).

"An electronic cruet? How shocking!" declared a wide eyed ingenue.

And then everyone declared they were going undercover to party, capes and all, the curtain came down, and that was his cue to dash on with the set change.

The play proceeded apace, until Freddie (playing Mercutio) turned out not to be acting stabbed, but actually stabbed, and Mark had to hastily drag a real, unconscious, bleeding body off the stage during set change, and call an ambulance.

Because the show must go on, and there was no need for the audience to know - right?

Sunday 11 February 2024

Flash Fic Challenge: Hammer and Tongs (and Bucket)

 Hammer and Tongs (and Bucket)

(This is set in my Olson College universe. Enjoy)

The gym was supposed to be empty at this time. Or at least, empty except for me and my cleaning equipment.

Instead, there were a couple of young adults going at each other with blunted practice weapons and rather sharper words. (Judging by the tone, anyway. It wasn't a language I spoke.) This is a college though, and I've been working as a cleaner here for years, so I know how to deal with young fools, most of the time.

I'd say the pair were going at each other hammer and tongs, but given the weaponry involved, it was more like oversized hammer and shortswords.

They didn't notice me enter.

The water in my bucket bounced hopefully at me. (Water likes me, it knows I'm a water creature at heart, which is useful for cleaning, but for anything bigger than a bucketful or so it's more like a friendly wave in passing than an active help.) I glanced at the water, so that it was still clean, and flicked my fingers. "Go for it."

The water leapt out of the bucket, into the air, and came down on the youngsters' heads.

They spluttered. And finally noticed that I was there. The slightly shorter and slimmer one bowed an apology, and elbowed the other, who copied him.

Then they left, and finally, the gym was empty. The water rolled around on the floor, and I jabbed a finger at the bucket until it reluctantly hopped back in, and let me start mopping.

Thursday 11 January 2024

Flash Fic Challenge: Thundering Hooves

 Thundering Hooves

Listen, my darlings, to the overhead roar,

And then listen to me, for I'll tell you more.

There was once a field where fine horses grazed

And along the edges, their riders lazed.


These riders were dining on cheese, fruit, and bread,

And one had a grapefruit as big as his head.

This chap tossed his grapefruit up into the air,

And a foal saw it fall with a bit of a scare.


The foal took off, away back to its mum,

With a sharp turn on speed, like Armageddon had come.

Now horses are twitchy, as I'm sure that you know.

If one horse is spooked, then the feeling will grow.


So the whole herd took off at a thundering run,

Right on the heels of the littlest one.

The riders jumped up, but all far too late,

For all they could do now was stand there and wait.


So when you eat grapefruit, don't toss it about,

Or you will hear thunder, without any doubt.

Sunday 10 December 2023

Flash Fic Challenge: One of Those Days

 One of Those Days


I was only there to pick up a new set of pizza pans. Someone - naming no names - had managed to put a horn through my old set. (Such things are inevitable when one of your housemates is a minotaur)

See, the car park closest to the shop with the good, cheap, pizza pans also has the local landing area for folks with wings, or with flying transport of one kind and another, so it wasn't that uncommon to see low flying objects there. You learn to look out above you as well as around you, after a while.

What was not common or expected was for a vampire in bat form to crash land on my pizza pans.

Heigh ho. It was clearly going to be one of those days.

Sunday 12 November 2023

Flash Fic Challenge: Deposited Dreams

 Deposited Dreams

Daisy filled her bucket with water, then hauled it into the first of the carriages, along with her mop, and her satchel full of cleaning rags. It was her job to get the carriages clean again overnight, before they took the next load of passengers in the morning.

It wasn't the best paying job in the world, but it was steady, reliable work. It gave her enough to keep a rented roof over her head and put food on the table most days, even if that food was only bread. Besides, it was the only way the likes of her would ever see the inside of a first class carriage.

So she scrubbed soot off the windows, and wiped spilled food and drink off the tables, and brushed down the chairs and polished the wood trim, and checked all the cracks and crevices for lost coins. Any coins she found went in her own pocket, of course. Checking under the seats, she found a fallen glass cola bottle in among the grit and crumbs and crumpled wrappers and discarded newspaper (she kept the paper for lighting fires). She grinned. Empty cola bottles could be returned to the shop for the deposit, as long as she kept it whole, and the deposit was enough to buy any one of a dozen small treats. She wrapped it in newspapers, and slid it gently into her satchel, then set about mopping the floor, now that the debris was cleared away.

One carriage finished, she moved on to the next, and the next, squirelling away anything that might be of use. She went home at dawn, early enough to just catch the new bread at the baker's as it came out of the oven. She bought her usual loaf, slipped a few shops along to drop off the cola bottle and trade some of the deposit for a twist of cheap tea. She spent the rest at the street barrows, buying herself a jellied eel, and a bunch of fresh watercress.

Oh, she would have a feast today.

Sunday 15 October 2023

Flash Fic Challenge: Shift Change

 Shift Change

Sam pulled off the highway into the Rusted Musket truck stop with a yawn, parked their truck tidily enough, and then leaned through to poke her sleeping wife. "Hey, Pan, your turn to take over."

Pan stuck her head out of the sleeping bag and growled hopefully, "Coffee?"

"Truck stop," Sam retorted. "Pay up or put up, sweetpea."

Pan yawned and crawled out of their shared berth. "Pay up," she declared, and smacked a kiss on each of Sam's cheeks in payment.

Sam pulled a face, then climbed out of the warm cab and trudged through the chilly middle-of-the-night darkness to the one open store. She got two cups from the hot drinks dispenser (one coffee, one hot chocolate) and a pair of cornish pasties for breakfast/supper from the rather depleted display, paid up, and headed back to their truck.

Pan was now dressed, and fastening her last shoe. She looked over and grinned at Sam - or perhaps at the coffee. "My saviour." She clutched the cup and made room for Sam to sit beside her, all but inhaling her coffee, before grabbing her pasty and biting into her breakfast.

They ate curled against each other. Sam felt the tension of her driving shift melt away with the chocolate and food, and Pan looked more awake by the minute.

Once they were done, Pan stuffed the wrappers into a rubbish bag and slid behind the wheel. Sam stripped down to her sleep outfit, and crawled into the still warm sleeping bag. As the truck pulled out onto the highway once more, she let the hum of the engine and the rhythm of her wife's driving lull her to sleep.

Sunday 10 September 2023

Flash Fic Challenge: Gogglebox

 Gogglebox

 

It started when someone tossed the empty plastic box used for spare goggles into the pool. Some joker had drawn a rough outline of a tv set on it and added the label "gogglebox".

The problem was that they had used a water soluble ink, so the first person to push the box back towards the side ended up with bright blue fingers. And of course, with everyone being in high spirits over last week's win, everyone else wanted fingers to match and started jostling for access to slap the box.

It was inevitable that in the scrum, someone would miss the box and catch a person instead. Which (such is life) ended up with a dozen youngsters all finger painting each other's faces (or trying to) with crude blue mascots.

I would have liked to have seen their parents' faces, but, not my department. Mine just to dive in when they were gone, and bat the box out of the water with a (now blue) mermaid's tail.